“Got to do a few things at the airport today,” I said to Better Half. “Taking Grandson with me.”
“Oh, he’ll enjoy that,” she replied. “It is his birthday, you know.” It’s not likely this grandfather was going to forget that. The teenager had given me a list of things he wanted a month ago.
“What about lunch?” she asked. My wife worries herself to death about the grandkids being underfed. She shouldn’t. They can clean out our refrigerator quicker than Congress can push a new tax bill through.
“Already got that covered,” I replied. “We’ll stop on the way home and get lunch.”
“Where are you going to eat? You know he likes…”
“Hooters.”
“What!” She screamed, nearly fainted, gnashed her teeth and generally swooned in good Southern fashion. “He can’t eat there! He’s just a baby!” That baby she’s talking about is taller than Peeps, outweighs me by twenty pounds, and now growls like a bear when he talks.
“Naw,” I tried to reassure her. “He’s plenty old enough.”
“What if someone sees you?!” Suddenly the roots of her hair turned gray. That’ll cost me a couple of hundred bucks at the beauty shop.
“If it’s someone we know, I’ll say hi for the both of us. If not, they can take a picture and put it on the internet for all I care.” For some reason, my comforting words didn’t work. Funny how women react to things.
“Did you ask our daughter about this? You know she’s not going to approve.”
“Don’t have to ask permission from her,” I said. “In fact, I don’t need anyone’s permission.”
“She’s not going to like this,” Better Half said, trying to play the guilt card. “She’ll be mad…”
“And she’ll get happy in those same breeches too. Besides, honey, all our grandchildren have good examples to follow. My job is to give them contrast. That way, when they get out into the real world, they’ll be prepared for bad examples like me.”
“What was I thinking when I married you?”
“Can’t say your mother didn’t warn you,” I replied. “Besides, I’ll say hi to your brothers if I run into them there.”
“My brothers wouldn’t dare!”
“Yeah, you’re right. They would go to one out of town.”
It didn’t take long for my grandson to get acclimated to the establishment. I’m sure he was saving his birthday money for a return trip.
“Nice atmosphere,” I said.
“What would you recommend?” he asked, playing along. He was truly grinning like a raccoon eating a green persimmon.
“Anything fried in grease will please your palate, son. May Peeps suggest fried shrimp, french fries, and an order of fried pickles? Heard they flew the chef in all the way from Bay La Batre.”
“Excellent,” he replied. Of course, it took him forever to order. He found it hard to concentrate on the menu.
During the ordering process, ole Peeps managed to whisper to the waitress that it was grandson’s birthday. Within minutes the young man was surrounded by a whole gaggle of pretty girls. After belting out the birthday song and snapping pictures they assured us would be posted on their wall, we finally got around to eating.
As the bill was paid, I leaned over to the young lady and thanked her for the special attention lavished on my grandson. Life doesn’t get easier as one matures. Every young man needs to be the beau of the ball once in his life.
While I was talking to the young lady, a man about my daughter’s age walked over and engaged my boy in conversation. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but it seemed friendly.
On the ride home, ole Peeps inquired about whom the gentleman was. His reply put whipped cream on top of the dessert.
“Oh, we go to church with him,” he replied in a nonchalant manner. “He’s teaching my Sunday school class this month.”
“Be sure to tell your Nanna, son. She’ll really enjoy hearing that!”
Learn more about Stephen on our About Us page.
Stephen’s first book is a novel, “Where the Cotton Once Grew.” Among the stellar reviews, one reader perhaps said it best, “This is a fabulous read and extremely powerful story. It managed to surpass my expectations. Once I started I could not put it down. It will make you smile and then in an instance bring you to tears.” Click here to purchase.
